Zoe Clews & Associates

Using Hypnotherapy to Treat Addictions

 

Addiction plagues most people around the world in one form or another. When we imagine addiction, we commonly picture drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. However, we may be addicted to a lot more than that, such as gambling, sex, and even work.

 

Addiction may be defined as not having any control over taking, doing or using something to the point of harm. It's an issue that affects your mind and body, consuming lives and affecting careers and relationships. There are many reasons why people develop addictions, and various factors may be involved, from purely environmental to genetics. The most common suspects, like drugs, alcohol and nicotine, give a nice physical or emotional feeling, urging you to use them repeatedly, but a price is attached. You can find a similar high when you engage in gambling, compulsive shopping and more.

 

What Causes Addiction?

 

There is no single underlying cause for all addictions, but many factors may increase the risk of someone developing one. The factors fall into two categories - chemical and behavioural. 

 

Behavioural Factors

 

Certain traits in behaviour may make you more vulnerable to addictive substances and activities, such as the following:

 

  • Background - Traumatic experiences during childhood, such as abuse or neglect, tend to increase the risk of developing addictive behaviours. Early use of such substances or activities also links to a lifelong struggle with addiction.

 

  • Genetics - there is enough evidence to suggest that there are also genetic links to addiction. If you have a family history of addiction, you have a higher chance of developing one. Certain genetic traits may also speed up or delay the progression of addiction.

 

  • Mental Health Issues - People who experience more anxiety and nervousness in their lives tend to be more vulnerable to the lure of addiction. Individuals who struggle with stress and seek coping methods may also lean toward such addictive behaviour patterns.

 

Chemical Factors

 

There is a link between the repeated use of specific substances or engaging in certain activities and the brain's pleasure centres. Addictive behaviours trigger the creation of dopamine, which causes a mental high and a sense of satisfaction. The brain remembers this state of pleasure and wants it repeated, which is the primary mechanism behind addiction.

 

The repeated use of a substance or activity tends to change the way the brain feels pleasure, so the user needs more, either upping the frequency of the activity or substance use or the dose to catch up with the same feeling they experienced in the beginning. The withdrawal symptoms get more severe when the tolerance increases and the addiction is in full swing.

 

Using Hypnotherapy for Addiction

 

Recovery from addiction requires long-term changes in your behaviour. This is extremely difficult without a strong support system to back you up. Hypnotherapy uses a state of deep relaxation or hypnotic trance to make your mind more open to positive suggestions. This allows the hypnotherapist to help you change your addiction's perspective and push you toward changing your habits. 

 

The process of hypnotherapy is a relaxing experience and helps lower stress levels, making you better at managing stress in general. As stress triggers addictive behaviour, this makes a big difference. Depending on withdrawal symptoms and the added stress of your recovery, hypnotherapy offers a layer of support you can count on, alongside other methods like balanced dieting, exercise and more. Reinforcing the changes made during your hypnotherapy sessions will take multiple sessions, as well as the use of self-hypnosis techniques you can use in your daily life, helping you stay focused and motivated on your path to rid yourself of your addiction.

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

5 Reasons You May Want to Consider Marriage Therapy

 

 

There are various reasons why couples may seek therapy, but a few of those are extremely common, as we will explain in the following points:

 

You've Grown Apart

 

Divorce incidents peak at certain times, with the first wave being around seven years. The second wave of a possible divorce is 21 years after marriage. The second divorce is often connected to growing apart, less about fighting and more about avoidance. After many years of marriage, some couples no longer engage with each other but simply live as roommates.

 

Couples tend to forget what brought them together in time and why they fell in love. If you've been with someone for many years, you build a life narrative, a history and memories to fall back on, and couples therapy gives you the chance to rekindle the spark.

 

You Clash about Money

 

Money has always been an issue for many couples. Still, if you throw in the usual late-in-life worries such as health issues, fewer and fewer years of earning left, not to mention the unstable nature of our world, you have an atmosphere filled with financial friction and stress. Clashes may stem from differences in spending or disagreements on what you need to save for, as well as retirement. There may be the stress of not earning enough or the inequalities in managing your savings. Money tends to evoke strong feelings in people, and an imbalance between both sides of a relationship in terms of spending or earning may spin out of control to the point where the relationship is in danger of falling apart.

 

Someone has Been Unfaithful.

 

One of the most common reasons for couples therapy is the attempt to fix a breach of trust by a cheating spouse. Cheating doesn't always mean only physical infidelity; it may mean being secretive and hiding essential things from your spouse. It means reconnecting with an old flame and thinking it's harmless when all of a sudden it becomes more than that. How can one tell they've crossed the line of trust? This is a complex subject, as cheating means something different for everyone. The most important thing is building a shared, agreed-upon level of fidelity in a relationship that works for both sides.

 

You Have Lots of Hurtful Arguments

 

We all have various ways of handling conflict, some seeking confrontation while others run away when things get difficult. Some passive-aggressive people find ways to sabotage other's life quietly. Big arguments can often leave a lot of tears and hurt feelings, but frequent small arguments can be just as destructive for your relationship. Couples tend to get into a closed loop of arguing about the same things over and over and over again. With couples therapy, you can find ways to defuse disagreements with respect. Instead of going on the offensive, you can find ways to understand the other side and find a working compromise.

 

Going Through a Bg Transition

 

Even if you and your partner are getting along just fine, big changes may put stress on your relationship, becoming a serious problem. Different coping styles can also create friction that spins out of control. Suddenly finding yourself in a difficult situation, such as taking care of an ill parent, can consume a lot of time and effort, which presents many challenges. If your spouse isn't supportive or doesn't understand, then that may lead to resentment. Couples therapy helps find a way to restore the connection you had and to find a compromise.

 

©Zoe Clews & Associates

 

What are the Benefits of Seeing a Couples Therapist?

 

 

The benefits of relationship counselling will depend on the couple looking for help. The more you and your romantic partner happen to put into your relationship, the better your outcome. If you are hoping to change or improve your relationship satisfaction, you should consider a couples therapist and the following benefits you would experience:

 

Gain a Better Understanding of Your Relationship

 

One major benefit of going to couples therapy is that you can start to understand your relationship dynamics. Who has the power, are things balanced, and are you falling into negative communication patterns? If you disagree with common points of strife, you should address those. Looking at the answers to the questions and starting to understand the practices behind your relationship will give you a chance to heal your bond and make it stronger.

 

Getting an Impartial Opinion

 

Finding good couples therapists means having someone you can confide in and trust. The therapist will listen to what you’re saying and give you impartial, honest and unbiased feedback. Sometimes hearing someone else telling you what you need to hear is a good way to look at your relationship from a more sober perspective. That neutral party can listen to both sides and see ways to give constructive feedback they can’t achieve on their own. This may be a huge part of what makes a difference. If you have any questions, you need to ask, or if you are thinking about making important choices regarding your relationship, you may want to consult a couples therapist first. They can help with long-term outcomes that may result from a hasty decision. They may even give you advice that may save your marriage or relationship, providing solutions you can’t see on your own.

 

Creating a Safe Environment for You and Your Partner

 

Often, when we are dealing with conflict with our partner, the feeling of safety and balance is something both sides struggle with. To truly navigate the conflict, both sides must be willing to open up and be vulnerable and honest. That scares most people, so they employ various coping mechanisms like avoidance or humour to shift the blame or dodge responsibility. Couples therapy provides a safe environment where you have set and enforced boundaries and a neutral third party overseeing the process and intervening when needed. 

 

You Can Begin to See Another Perspective

 

Couples therapy often allows two people to find a way with each other and see through your partner’s eyes. It’s common to see things only through your own experience, so you may think your feelings are more important than those of your partner. This has nothing to do with selfishness but rather an ingrained human instinct most people follow blindly. If a therapist is involved, they may give you a chance to objectively look through both sides of the disagreement and avoid miscommunication. You can find a practical way to solve your issues now and in the future.

 

You Can Overcome Relationship Roadblocks

 

It may be quite common for relationships to go through hurdles where both parts of a whole are dealing with a specific problem. Maybe it’s about whether or not you want to have children or to figure out a major move in your life that you need to agree upon. It may be the act of purchasing a home together. Whatever the reason, you and your partner are arguing about a certain topic, and you feel you’re not getting anywhere. In these cases, therapy may give you a hand when you most need it. 

 

©Zoe Clews & Associate

 

A Guide to Couples Therapy - What you Should Know

 

You should go for a therapist visit when you’re not in any real crisis yet. This is of course rarely the case, since you are far more likely to look for help when you’re neck-deep in trouble. Since we’re all busy in our daily lives, good help is hard to schedule.

 

You should at the very least consider the possibility of therapy when your relationship is ailing. More couples should reach out for therapy before a catastrophic problem is encountered. Couples counselling is a great resource to fall back on if you’re going through a hard time. You can find strength in it, finding a safer way forward with your relationship, or providing ongoing support to resolve whatever issues are holding you back.

 

Couples going through counselling can find it prevents things from deteriorating. If you and your partner are going through it, you will be in a much better position to resolve your issues going forward. This will happen without being at each other’s throats. You won’t have the added pressure of having to find a therapist in a hurry, and you won’t have to worry about finding one that clicks with you. 

 

How Do You Find a Therapist?

 

This may be one of the hardest things to do. You should dedicate some time, specifically a couple of weeks or even months and see at least a few different ones to get a sense of things. Before you start, you should talk to your partner about it, as this is something that affects both of you. You need to figure out the kind of therapist they’re looking for, as well as factors you both find important going forward. You need to synchronise things so your schedules won’t clash with the sessions.

 

You should ask around and see about getting a referral if you can. See if your friends don’t know anyone they are happy with. You can ask a trusted medical professional, like your primary care physician or your OB/GYN. If you’ve ever been in individual therapy, you can simply ask your therapist about recommending someone who handles couples.

 

You can look up websites like Psychology Today, where most therapists will pay for listings, and it may also give you a chance to narrow down the search based on language, gender, speciality, location and more. Depending on where you live, you may have a local association of therapists working online that you can contact. Even if a therapist doesn’t exactly have a massive presence online, that doesn’t mean they’re bad at their job. Sometimes they get more than enough business through simple word-of-mouth and are plenty busy without having to advertise or even make their website.

 

You Should Keep an Open Mind

 

You should have a mental checklist of what you’re looking for in a therapist, but you should also allow yourself a chance to think outside of that. You don’t know what it will feel like to be in the room with your significant other and the therapist before you’re there. Both of you need to feel comfortable and respected in that professional environment for things to work.

 

Common Couples Therapies

 

Many counsellors are trained in various ways of therapy and will adapt your treatment based on your situation. The three most commonly established ones are the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Imago Relationship Therapy. There are other nuances, sometimes even hypnosis may be used, specific types of sex therapy and more, but those three are the most commonly used. 

 

©Zoe Clews & Associates

5 Unquestionable Benefits of Hypnotherapy

 

In cinema, hypnosis is often depicted as some sort of control tool. People fall in love against their will, commit crimes, get brainwashed. Hypnotists are shown as mesmerists who put people on stage and make them quack like chickens or perform other nonsensical tricks. Even though hypnosis is shown in rather ridiculous ways, making it seem like something simply used for fun, there is in fact a useful therapeutic element to it. Hypnotherapy can be used to benefit you either as a standalone treatment or as a supplemental one when paired with other treatments.

 

  • Insomnia and Sleepwalking

Hypnosis may be a helpful tool if you are sleepwalking or having trouble falling asleep. If you are suffering from insomnia, then hypnosis may be the best way to relax and get you in the mood to hit the pillow. Hypnosis may be a very helpful tool if you’re having issues with sleepwalking, staying asleep or falling from your bed. If you have insomnia issues, the treatment can also help you enter a relaxed state so you can sleep more soundly.

 

If you happen to be a sleepwalker, then you should know that hypnosis can train you to wake up as soon as you’re out of bed, making you avoid the dangers of sleepwalking. You can be put in a trance-like state with verbal cues, something similar to the feeling of being so involved in a movie, a book or something else that you lose track of what happens around you. After hypnosis, you can easily fall asleep.

 

  • Dealing with Anxiety

Relaxation techniques, such as hypnosis may sometimes ease anxiety. Hypnosis is often most effective with people whose anxiety comes from a chronic health condition. This is far more often the case than with people who suffer from a generalised anxiety disorder. Hypnosis may also be able to help with phobias, anxiety disorders where people have intense fears of something that doesn’t ordinarily pose a threat. Hypnosis works to help with anxiety by encouraging the body to activate the natural relaxation response, through the use of nonverbal cues, lowering of blood pressure, slower breathing and an overall sense of well-being. 

 

  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome

The effectiveness of hypnotherapy on IBS is being supported by clinical studies. IBS is an abdominal pain experienced in your bowels, but hypnosis can help alleviate symptoms such as diarrhoea, bloating and constipation among other things. Hypnosis will work through progressive relaxation, providing you with sensations and imagery that soothes the symptoms you’re experiencing.

 

  • Chronic Pain

Hypnosis can also help with pain, especially one that is experienced after surgery, migraines or tension headaches. It can help with chronic pain as well. Conditions like cancer, fibromyalgia, sickle cell disease, arthritis and more can experience relief through the use of hypnosis as well. The treatment can help you cope with pain, getting more self-control over how you deal with it. Studies have shown that hypnosis can help for long periods. 

 

  • You Can Quit Smoking

The use of hypnosis to quit smoking can work best with a one-on-one session with a hypnotherapist. They can help you organise the hypnosis sessions around your lifestyle, so you can address the issue. For hypnosis to work, you need to want to quit smoking. That works in two ways. The first step is to find a healthy, effective replacement for the act of smoking, then you can guide your subconscious into forming that habit and replacing smoking that way. This may be something as simple as chewing gum or any other activity. The second is to help train your mind to connect smoking to unpleasant feelings like a foul smell or bad taste in your mouth. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

Treating PTSD with Hypnosis - All you Need to Know




Hypnotherapy, also referred to as clinical hypnosis, is all about focusing on a person’s subconscious and conscious mind to foster behavioural and emotional change. It can be used to treat a variety of different conditions, like phobias, stress and anxiety, as well as
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). One session of hypnotherapy lasts about 60-90 minutes, while an entire course of treatment can vary anywhere between two sessions for several weeks to months, depending on the severity of the condition and the success of the treatment. 

Main concepts of hypnotherapy 

The treatment revolves around the model of the mind that features a conscious part and a subconscious part. They function differently and work in unison to navigate a person in their daily life. 

  • The conscious mind – is where focus resides. This part of the mind is responsible for attention at any time. This means it notes things like lights, sounds, activities and various tasks the person is engaged with. A person can only engage their conscious mind to pay attention to a few things at a time. 

  • Subconscious mind – it contains all of the memories, beliefs, habits and learnings of the past. It is tasked with keeping knowledge on important matters, from very simple ones like tying one’s shoes, to knowing how to speak a foreign language they have learned. It also hides the aftermath of traumatic events and experiences, which, in the case of PTSD, it is within the subconscious mind that painful memories and experiences get stuck. When it comes to hypnosis, it is the subconscious mind that therapists work on. This state of mind is more easily accessible and the therapist can make useful suggestions to it, to help a person overcome their past traumatic experiences. 

Who is this treatment right for? 

Anyone suffering from past trauma and struggling with PTDS symptoms can easily benefit from hypnotherapy. The symptoms often range from mild to severe and can sometimes persist from mere months to years. That is not to say hypnotherapy alone should be utilised for people with severe symptoms, but it can be a great addition as a complementary treatment. When added to psychotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy, it can contribute a great deal in overcoming the negative symptoms and turning the impact of past trauma around. 

How does hypnotherapy help? 

  • Pretty much everyone experiences a traumatic event in their life. That is when the brain’s ‘fight or flight response triggers and kicks the sympathetic nervous system into action. However, oftentimes with PTSD, a person hasn’t properly processed the stressful situation. When they are reminded of it, their fight or flight response triggers again, causing distress without actual need. This is what hypnotherapy aims to address. 

    • It introduces relaxation – the goal of hypnotherapy is to help the person enter a state of hypnotic trance through complete relaxation. This process acts as an antidote to many of the processes surrounding PTSD. 

    • Dealing with triggers – during hypnosis, the therapist will identify stress triggers. Sometimes these are non-threatening stimuli, which cause an overreaction. Knowing the triggers, the therapist can then start making suggestions to change the subconscious perception of these triggers and deem them in a non-threatening and non-stressful manner. 

    • Self-management tools – hypnotherapists often suggest a variety of self-management tools to help people with PTSD even further. This not only leads to effective treatment of the present issue but also recurring symptoms in the future. These tools can include self-hypnosis, deep breathing exercises and guided meditation. 
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© Zoe Clews & Associates

5 Tips to Help You Cope with the Empty Nest Syndrome



If a large part of your life has been defined as being a parent, you may find it difficult to adjust to life without your children at home. Once they leave the home, you can be left devastated and experience the empty nest syndrome. 

This refers to feelings of extreme sadness and grief over the fact that your last child has finally left your home and moved in to live somewhere else. This may not be a real diagnosis, but it is a real issue for many parents. If you feel like there is a huge void in your life, then you are likely struggling with it too. There are a few things you can do to help yourself feel better: 

 

  • Identify your roles – in your life, you have undoubtedly been a lot of things – a child to your parents, a friend, an employee, a relative and now a parent. None of them is as important as being a parent. And that is a role you can continue following, even if it is not as forefront as before. During this phase of your life, you will have new roles and you will need to pay attention to them too. Perhaps you can be a volunteer, or a friend to your neighbours, or a community member. You can explore what those activities hold for you and find new meaning and purpose. Again, being a parent is still something you can be, just a little different than before. 

  • Reconnect with your partner – shifting the focus on how your life will play out now that your last child is no longer living with you is something that happens. But you can think about the time when you didn’t have children when it was just the two of you with your partner. Now might be a good time to rekindle the flame and make some new memories. You can travel, without worrying about leaving the house to your children. You can have date nights without worrying about a thing. You have more time for yourselves now, so make the best use of it. 

  • Rediscover yourself – when parenting took over your life, you have probably given up on a ton of hobbies and activities that you used to do. An empty nest presents an opportunity for you to reconnect with all of these things. You even have more space in your home for the things that you used to love. Maybe there is something you have always wanted to try but was never able to due to your duties as a parent. Even if you currently have no idea, you can always give something new a try and see how it works for you. It is a great opportunity to explore new interests. 

  • Challenge yourself in new ways – one way to ease the feeling of loss of your child growing up is to find new challenges for yourself. Maybe you have always wanted to redesign a room in your home, and now is the best time to do it. You can even take on something bigger, like volunteering in a charity. Just don’t make any major life-altering decision in the first months after your child moves out. 

  • Don’t check in with them too much – if you find yourself obsessing over your child’s social media accounts or you spend a lot of time worrying about them, you will have a tougher time moving on. You want your child to become an independent adult. You can check in on them from time to time, but remember to give them some privacy and all the space to make new mistakes. That is how they will learn better. 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

A Guide to Couples Coaching - Everything You Need to Know

It

 

Couples coaching involves coaching sessions for a couple, where a therapist will work with both partners to address certain concerns that are preventing true joy and fulfilment in the relationship. This sort of counselling works well regardless of how long the relationship has been going on. Every couple experiences difficulties at one point or another in their relationship and it is important to remember that couples coaching can help them overcome that. 

All about couples coaching 

The goal of this form of coaching is to help individuals set their expectations and desires about a relationship straight. More than that, it helps them make all of that happen. By the end of a couples coaching course, the couple should have a clear understanding of what is difficult in their life together and what their goals should be. The coach will actively work with both partners to develop working solutions. 

 should be pointed out that couples coaching also works on an individual level. It is based on the idea that when a person is feeling fulfilled on their own, they can bring that healthy motivation into a relationship and seek to make it better. That is what people coming to couples coaching sessions have in common – they know they want to make their relationships better and they are not quite sure whether they need to look for improvement in themselves or their partners. 

Difference between counselling and coaching

Couples counselling is all about providing a non-judgmental space for couples to discuss their issues and reveal their emotional wounds. For example, it can help a couple work on restoring trust after a case of infidelity. The goal is to fix an issue that has happened to them and find the best way to move forward. 

Coaching can be similar in that it also provides a non-judgmental space for discussion, but the therapy itself is more action-oriented. There is much less unpacking the past that takes place and more about focusing on what the future goals should be. In that sense, couples coaching is more focused on the present and the future, and not so much on the past. 

Depending on what you want to achieve, you will be able to choose your kind of support wisely. If you think unresolved problems from the past are hindering you, then seek out couples counselling. If you want to change the present problems you have with your partner, then couples coaching might be right. 

What do couples coaching help with? 

Coaching is quite versatile and can aid in many areas of your life. These areas are identified by the couple in the couple’s coaching. It could be before or during sessions. Here are a few examples of areas to work on: 

  • Clarity around obstacles – understanding what stands in your way is always the first step. Relationships don’t often make it easy to know what the problem is. Couples coaching can uncover the real issues and set the tone for working on them. 

  • Better communication – another important aspect of couples coaching lies with improving communication between partners. After all, communication is at the heart of any relationship. If it becomes a stumbling block, then something is wrong. 

  • Aligning visions and values for the future – as people enter a relationship, they bring different values and visions for the future. If they aren’t aligned, that is potential for conflict, which can be remedied with couples coaching. During it, couples can identify their core values and outline the future they want to build upon. 

  • Build mutual understanding – this can be a major problem in long-term relationships. Sometimes partners feel like the other is taking them for granted and need to work on ways to build more appreciation towards one another. 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

5 Tips to Keep in Mind When Choosing a Sexual Therapist

 

Couples and individuals alike seek the aid of a sexual therapist for different purposes. Women and men alike encounter different forms of sexual dysfunction and it is by seeing a sex therapist that they can largely positively affect them. This kind of therapy has been proven to be so good not just for such problems, but also for addressing bored and attraction-related issues. 

More and more people are recognising the benefits of working with experts on this matter. Thus, finding the right person for the task is the way to go. With such an intimate topic, you need to be able to work with a person you are most comfortable with and who has the required expertise to help you out. 

  • Consider your reasons for needing sex therapy – there is a lot that goes into the field of sex therapy. It encompasses issues from desire, to physical problems that you might be experiencing. A good sex therapist should have a good clinical experience, but it doesn’t hurt for you to ask if they have dealt with people with similar issues. That is why it is so important for you to decide on the exact issues you want such therapy to address. So ask yourself what you want to achieve and what sort of therapy you want to accept. Bear in mind that it is very likely you will get certain homework exercises, such as communication, or reading educational materials. You have to be ready to discuss your most intimate topics with a therapist, as well as your partner. 

  • Consider the experience and credentials of the therapist – this was touched upon the previous point, but it is important enough that it needs to be mentioned separately. For your therapist to be a reliable source of help, they should an MD, or PhD and then have done a sufficient number of hours in sexuality training. After all, you want the therapist to be able to consider all of the problems that might be present with their client. There are different dimensions the sexual therapist needs to be able to view the issues from – a psychological one, a physiological, a relational one and sometimes even a cultural one. 

  • Consider several options – there are many ways in which you can find a sex therapist. You can check out professional organisations, or perhaps seek referrals from your doctor and friends. Many online resources allow you to browse a database and pick from there. Whatever your sources of finding a therapist are, it is best not to just go with the first option presented. Instead, you should see 2-3 therapists and do an initial consultation with them. Since every person’s issues are highly individual, it may take more than one therapist to know you have finally clicked well and can proceed with the therapy. 

  • Ask about their treatment plan – therapy is usually a dynamic process, which changes as you proceed forward. However, it is important to ask your therapist what their therapy plan is for you and how it is going to go. In part, this has a lot to do with the fact that you will be able to better budget for therapy and monitor your progress. 

  • Check-in with yourself as the therapy goes on – sexual problems are largely intimate in nature. It will only get more comfortable as you progress the treatment. If you don’t feel comfortable, then perhaps your therapist is not the best fit for you and you should seek another expert on the matter. 

All of these tips should ensure that you make the most of your work with a sexual therapist and overall manage to benefit from them in resolving your problems. 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

4 Things Sex Therapists Wish Every Parent Knew

 

Sex therapists often need to provide advice for parents, who struggle with their sex life. Whether it is because of a new-born child, or perhaps a toddler that cannot stop crying at night, parenthood brings changes to a couple’s sex dynamics and not always for the better. To those who feel their sex lives are flatlining, sex therapists have a few useful recommendations: 

  • One partner is exhausted and achieving a sexy frame of mind is impossible – parents of small children and babies often experience such challenges. When one parent feels so worn out, their need for sleep and rest outranks the need for sex. The idea is that the person should not feel bad for desiring the former more than the latter. When parents are doing their thing – dealing with children, managing the new tasks, etc., it can be hard to switch to an erotic state. It is just hard to enjoy sex in such a situation. What makes a big difference then is a partner’s ability to empathise and help out the other person. If one of the partners feels that the other is not sharing the burden, it can lead to resentment and push them apart. This is a solvable riddle, which both partners can work on, possibly with the help of a sex therapist. 

  • Parenthood changes the human body – it is completely natural to feel less comfortable about your body after having a baby. Women are especially vulnerable to feeling depressed over the extra weight they put on. This can often lead to both parents feeling stuck. Communication is key, and assumptions are a killer. The idea is that parents should communicate their newfound feelings of discomfort and work around them. Yes, there are a lot of insecurities parents develop after having a baby. But with some proper work, both parents can view each other the same way they did before having a child. 

  • Don’t be so sure you know everything sex-related about your partner – everyone learns a lot about sex throughout their life – from their family and early relationships. This forms many expectations on a subconscious level, which we then bring into our relationships and marriages. And even if you think you know your partner, keep in mind no attitude towards sex is fixed. It can easily change, most notably after having a child. That is when one partner can reveal sex is much less of a priority for them, compared to the other person. The goal should always be to dig deeper into the beliefs your partner holds about sex, and show understanding. Only then will you be able to build a more satisfying sex life together, even after having a child. 

  • Two people can't desire the same amount of sex all the time – one of the reasons why people seek the aid of a sex therapist is discrepancies in desire. Sometimes one partner might not desire to engage in sexual acts, and only feel pressured into doing them. But this makes it feel more like an obligation, which will sooner or later backfire. Parents often fall into the trap of believing there is a certain amount of sex that they should have. The reality is that more often than not, there will be some sex desire discrepancies. At those times, it is important to remember that instead of troubling over how often partners should have sex, they should focus on enjoying the sex that they have. That way they will achieve the perfect balance. 

These are just a few of the most common issues that sex therapists deal with in regards to parents. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

6 Complaints You Can Freely Share with a Sex Therapist

 

Seeing a sex therapist is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, more and more people are resorting to the services of one such, as they understand the benefits of working on their issues with someone has the knowledge and can provide the right answers. 

If you have never before considered sex therapy, perhaps it will be educational to find out more about what problems it can help with. Below are some of the major complaints that sex therapists hear from their clients: 

  • Inability to reach an orgasm – this problem is most common to women who report not being able to reach a climax the real way during intercourse. One thing that sex therapist know well to advise the men of these women is that they have to focus more on the clitoris, instead of the vagina. It is important to try out positions that enable better G-spot-penile contact, as that is often enough to fix the problem. 

  • Mismatched sexual desire in partners – when both partners have the so-called desire discrepancy, i.e. one partner wanting more sex than the other, things can quickly escalate in the relationship. In this case, the therapist may work with both partners to enable them to find the kind of sex that brings the right amount of excitement for both of them. In other cases, the expert may in fact reveal another problem that is at the root of this issue. Talking about these bothersome topics usually brings both partners together and makes them more inclined to resolve their differences. 

  • One partner wants to spice up the sex life – when a couple is in a committed relationship, their desires in the bedroom may evolve and change. Partners feel more comfortable with each other and may have a desire for novelty. If the other partner is not interested, it can spell trouble. Working with a sex therapist could allow the couples to see how open each of them is to compromise. Also, the therapist can find out whether there are any underlying tensions the couple is not discussing, or not even aware of, that may be leading to such an issue. 

  • Performance issues – men often experience performance problems, which are usually in the form of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. They could lead to performance anxiety, which in turn can make them avoid intimacy and sex. The common therapy includes a focus on one’s own body and pleasure, rather than their partner, meaning that will worry less about what the other thinks of them. 

  • The need to feel more emotionally connected – a lot of people report the problem of not having any passion for sex and they want to change this. It usually happens to those who are past the period of their life where they are most interested in hook ups, and instead, want a committed relationship. The real problem is being able to successfully integrate love and sex, which is exactly what a sex therapist can help. 

  • Stuck in a sexless marriage – if a couple has found itself in a rut, sex is one of the first things that suffers. Work distractions, children care and other duties could take away much of their energy and free time. A sex therapist can initiate a talk between the partners, to have them explore the problem from a different perspective and find possible resolutions. 

These are all essential problems that both couples and individuals often discuss with a sex therapist. If you find yourself encountering any of them, don’t hesitate to contact an expert. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

All You Need to know about Hypnotherapy for Weight Loss

 

 

If you have tried dieting and many forms of exercise for your weight problem, but nothing seems to work, maybe it is time to consider another option – hypnotherapy. Many people are sceptical about this kind of weight loss solution because they mostly associate hypnosis with stage shows and cheap tricks. 

 

However, as it turns out, research points to the effectiveness of hypnosis for weight loss. According to some of the early studies on the matter, people who resorted to this solution lost double the amount of weight compared to those that went without such therapy. It pays to consider it as a viable method for weight loss, especially if you have exhausted other options or found them of little help. In this guide, we will cover a few important points regard hypnotherapy for weight loss

 

Who is such therapy best for? 

Without a doubt, the best candidates for this kind of therapy are the people who resort to unconscious and emotional eating. These are usually individuals who know well what they should be eating and what they should not; however, there is an underlying issue that is stopping them from putting that knowledge to practical use. Hypnotherapy for weight loss in a way is all about teaching a person to have more willpower and rewriting habits, which could be at the root of the problem. 

 

How does it work? 

A typical hypnotherapy session involves a conversation between the hypnotherapist and their client. Often this reveals some factors, which may contribute to the person struggling with weight. For example, ait may not be their eating habits that are to blame, but rather an emotional trauma, which they are poorly coping with by overeating. This is what lies in the subconscious mind, which the hypnotherapist accesses by putting the person in a state of hypnosis. Once that is achieved, the person being in a heightened sense of awareness, the therapist can make suggestions, to help their client shake some beliefs and emotions about food. This leads to positive change in a person’s mind. So the next time they experience cravings, for example, they won’t reach for the sweets, but will instead have a fruit. 

 

How long does it take for such a treatment to work? 

There is no straightforward answer to this question. It all depends on the progress you are making and the goals you have. It won’t be long before you start seeing some improvement, even after a few sessions. That is when you need to remember that you should show some perseverance and continue with the therapy. Only then can you reap the rewards of it. 

 

What guarantees do you have it will work? 

There is no way to 100% guarantee that hypnotherapy for weight loss will work for you. According to some studies, some people cannot even be hypnotized. Furthermore, like many other treatments, this one is only going to work if you are dedicated and truly wish to meet your goal. If there is resistance on your side, you will not be able to change the habits that are keeping you from losing weight. Hypnotherapy is not a form of mind control, unlike some myths depict it. It also requires a person with experience to lead the treatment session, as that is the best way to know it will work. What you can do to improve your chances of success is to find an experienced hypnotherapist and also get in the right mind for this sort of treatment. 


© Zoe Clews & Associates

Here is How you Can make the Most of Hypnotherapy


Hypnotherapy is starting to get more and more recognition from people nowadays. As a way to address certain physical and mental conditions, this way of approaching the problem has shown great promise in the strife for better health and wellbeing. 

Many people still feel a little doubtful about this kind of treatment, mainly because they consider hypnosis to be nothing more than a stage act. But in reality, hypnotherapy has proven it's worth and more and more doctors are starting to see its benefits. If you are sure you want to try it for your phobia, anxiety, weight loss or smoking cessation problems, then you are on the right track. There are certain ways to make the most of it and you will do well to read more about them below.

Find an accredited professional - it is always a good idea to look for an accredited professional. After all, you want the therapy to work as best as possible and the only way to ensure this is the case is to see a hypnotherapist with experience. There are a few professional hypnotherapy London associations in the UK, so do ask which one the specialist you are seeing works with. It is a good way to know that they are dedicated to their job and that they can probably help you with whatever issue you have. 

It is best if they have a medical background – most hypnotherapists London undergo special training to become adept in using hypnosis as a treatment tool. But there is so much more to them than just taking a course. Often they have a medical background, which means they are more familiar with the health problems you are facing. That way they can not only utilise hypnosis but also ensure that it is used to the greatest possible effect for whatever condition you are struggling with. 

They should have experience – if the hypnotherapist you are seeing has experience with the kind of problem you have, then it is more likely that you will have success with the therapy. They will know how to best utilise hypnosis and how to get you feeling more comfortable. When they have had similar cases, there will be fewer things to discover about your condition and so you can benefit from a quicker recovery. 

Build rapport with the hypnotherapist – one of the most important aspects of hypnotherapy treatments is building rapport with the therapist. You want to communicate freely with them and not feel bothered by what you share with them. If hypnotherapy is to prove useful, you will have to share some personal information with the therapist, possibly involving past events, feelings and experiences. If you build rapport with them and truly feel comfortable talking about all this during your meetings, then you will have greater with the treatment. 

Ask questions – hypnotherapy may not be entirely in your league, but it doesn’t hurt to ask the therapist more questions about it. That is a good way to learn what effect it has on you, how it can address the problem and how long the treatment is going to take. The more you know about it, the more effective it becomes. 

Shake some myths – one of the best things you can do to ensure that hypnotherapy does it for you is to educate yourself more about it. There are a lot of myths flying around that you should research and distinguish from reality, to boost the effectiveness of the treatment.

By following all of these tips, you can easily experience the benefits of hypnotherapy for yourself. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

5 Ways in Which Hypnotherapy Can Change Your Life

 

Hypnosis is a centuries-old tool, which has recently risen to popularity as an effective way of treatment for a variety of issues. More and more people turn to hypnotherapists because studies back the idea that it is useful in the long run. Could it be the solution to your problems? Perhaps. 

 

Let’s browse a few ways in which hypnotherapy can help you make positive changes in your life: 

Smoking cessation – as it turns out, hypnotherapy is a good method to get you to quit smoking. It presents itself as a viable alternative to all of the other methods, including medication, nicotine bubble gums and all that. Like any other addiction, smoking presents some challenges the individual must overcome on a psychological level. Even though it is your body craving for nicotine, you can easily overcome this by knowing why you turn to smoking in the first place. It could be a way to combat stress or to ease yourself into doing something else. The hypnotherapist can get to the reasons behind your smoking problem and make helpful suggestions to change your thoughts about smoking into something more helpful. 

Overeating – a healthy diet and plenty of physical exercises are the two major factors for successful weight loss. Emotional overeating often gets in the way and it is hypnotherapy that can combat it. The hypnotherapist will examine the issue with you and come up with a solution for it. They may reveal a problem with stress and your thinking that food is a way to fix it. They will try to fix your triggers, which are making you turn to food for comfort, and replace your beliefs with something more effective. The secret lies with the fact that overeating is something your subconscious unlocks, but it is an easily fixable problem, once hypnotherapy gets in the way. 

 

Cure phobias – a lot of people feel dread and experience crippling panic when faced with certain things. Phobias develop in a variety of ways, but they have one thing in common: all of them are more of a psychological problem. The secret to overcoming phobias is working on the subconscious part of the mind, which is where the fears and anxiety stem from. By accessing this part, a hypnotherapist can find out exactly why you developed a phobia and help you overcome the problem by making helpful suggestions. In doing so, they will give you a new perspective on things and help you adopt new views on the stressful situation or object that is causing you dread. That way you will react differently to it, and potentially overcome it entirely.

Improve sports performance – a great number of sports professionals have turned to hypnotherapy to better their results on the field. The secret lies with the skill of using visualization. Seeing the successful move in your mind, or yourself triumphing over what must be done in your kind of sport is vital for success. A hypnotherapist can help with this, but also with building up mental endurance, which is also essential for success in any kind of sport.

Relieve stress and anxiety – a lot of people are struggling with anxiety. The good news is that hypnotherapy presents a fine way to combat the problem. It works by allowing the expert to examine the root causes of anxiety and provide long-lasting solutions by changing your views and thoughts on these experiences and situations. Adopting a new perspective can have a positive effect and minimize your anxiety.

As you can see, there is a lot that hypnotherapy brings to the table in regards to dealing with some of the most common issues people face. It is up to you to make the most of it. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

5 Signs it is Time to See a Psychosexual Therapist

 

How long has it been since you have had satisfying sex with your partner? For those lucky enough to experience great emotional and physical connection with their partner, the answer will likely be ‘just recently’. But for many people out there, there is a notable decline in the sexual connection with their partner, and there are problems that manifest themselves in various forms. 

 

If you fall into the latter category, you will want to consider sex therapy services. According to experts, this is a good way to overcome many of the issues that plague intimacy. If you are not quite sure whether such services are right for you, there are a few notable signs to look out for: 

 

1. You have suddenly lost your libido

 

There is a notable difference between ‘not feeling in the mood for sex’ and sudden loss of libido. In the former case, you may feel tired or distracted and not feel like doing bedroom action for a night or two. In the latter case, the problem comes with a complete disinterest in sex. If you notice a sudden change in your desires about sex, and the change lasts long, it may be a problem you need to look into.

 

2. All you can think about is sex

 

In contrast with the first problem, if you find yourself thinking about sex a lot, this too may be a cause of concern. Sex is good, so why wouldn’t you dream and fantasise about it? As it turns out, if your sexual desire has suddenly spiked, it may cause you to concentrate too much on it, to the point where it gets in the way of some daily activities. Sex may become not an enjoyable act, but a preoccupation, which requires help to overcome. 

 

3. Reaching orgasm has become a problem

 

Reaching orgasm indeed requires a different approach for everyone; for some, it comes easy, for others, it takes longer and is much more difficult. It is okay to be in either camp, but there might be a problem if you have changed sides all of a sudden. If you find yourself unable to reach an orgasm, even though you try to make your sex life exciting, there might be a new mental problem that a psychosexual therapist can help with. There is another kind of problem in regards to orgasm, in the form of feeling pressured about it. If you feel like reaching/making your partner reach orgasm is a requirement, otherwise, you have failed, there is a certain pressure, which could create problems in your love life. 

 

4. Sexual trauma has manifested itself

 

Sexual trauma can negatively affect your love life. And the effect doesn’t even always occur instantly, but years later. The affected may experience a wide range of problems, from avoiding sex and feeling great stress about it, to more severe cases of avoiding connection altogether. One of the best ways to combat this is to speak to a therapist. 

 

5. You are at an impasse with your partner

 

Sometimes you can trace the issues to your relationship, not yourself alone. Any imbalances there will affect your sex life negatively. One of the most common reasons for this is varying levels of libido between both partners. A sex therapist who focuses on work with couples may be the best option to resolve such issues and restore balance in the relationship, essentially solving the sexual difficulties the couple encounters. 

 

If you feel like some of these signs are true for you, then seeing a sex therapist presents a great way to solve the present problems and give your sex life a much-needed boost. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

6 Good Reasons Why You should Work with a Life Coach

 

There is hardly a second opinion on this: life is hard. Between all of the obligations and expectations, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. The pressure mounts and adds more weight, which holds you down and doesn’t allow you to follow your goals and true passions. It may get to the point where life passes you by, and you feel like you cannot get back on track.

 

Working with a life coach is a way to fix this. In fact, an expert like this can be of so much use to you. Below you will find a few more good reasons to consider hiring a good life coach.

 

1. You find it difficult to follow your goals 

 

Achieving goals is no easy feat. It is not just setting the goals themselves that is hard, but also following them through. A life coach is someone who can help you define your goals better and also motivate you to achieve them. They will even be able to offer a new perspective on why you haven’t been able to achieve those goals in the past, thus allowing you to continue to improve and get back on track.

 

2. You need to limit the beliefs that are holding you back 

 

In most cases, people find it difficult to follow through with their goals because of the limiting beliefs held in their subconscious mind. One of the goals of a life coach is to help identify these beliefs and help you push through them.

 

3. You have no idea where to begin 

 

Sometimes it can be difficult to begin. You know what you want to achieve, but you don’t know where to begin. As a result, you never start. Whatever the reason for this inability to start, a life coach can help you identify it and overcome it. It is always the first step that is most important, and life coaches can help you make it.

 

4. You cannot define a clear vision

 

Does it ever feel like you are living by someone else’s wishes and rules? Your goals may not reflect what you are after. As a result, you may feel like you are pushed and pulled in different directions, lacking the vision of what you want to achieve. A life coach can help you gain a new perspective on the things that are most important to you and define those as new passions to pursue.

 

5. There is some chaos in your finances/career/business/relationship 

 

If you feel like your life is in disarray, you will need some help to get through the most difficult times. Regardless of which field of life you are most struggling in, working with a coach gives you a way to see the forest from the trees. Identifying the complexities and the problems that surround you is just the beginning.

 

6. Stress and anxiety are taking the best of you

 

If stress and anxiety are recurring themes in your life, things can seem pretty bleak. It is not difficult to see why you can get so stressed out. What is more difficult is to learn how to minimise the effect of these emotions thanks to a brand new perspective that a life coach can give you.

 

Now that you know what a life coach can help you with, you should search for one. There is a lot to be gained from such experts, and it is up to you to do so in a way that meets your goals.

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates